A space for memory, meaning, and all the ways we carry her
Originally created as a resource to find ways to support our family after Violet died, this site has grown into something deeper.It’s now a space to share her story, reflect on parenting through grief, and gently hold the things we’ve learned in the aftermath.Thank you for being here.
Love,
Becky & Oliver
REFLECTIONS
I don’t always know what I need to say until I’m already saying it.This is a space where I can try to make sense of things when the feelings are too big to hold quietly.Grief, love, parenting, survival, and what it means to just keep going.It’s not polished. Some of it’s messy. Some of it is clear.
All of it is real and whats true in the moment.I can’t yet describe how it feels to share these things, but it helps me to create moments of strength and peace.I hope that in reading them you find something nurturing to your soul.Love,
Becky
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The very first post
April 22, 2025
In the early days, when so many asked how to support us, we created this website as a way for those offering help to learn how they could do just that—through meals, practical care, and kindness we could actually take in.It’s now evolved to become not only a place to share how we’re navigating life after the unimaginable, and to keep Violet close in it, but also a resource for others who find themselves in similar life circumstances.If the experience of Violet’s death can help bring solace to anyone, that means her life and light continues to shine.
WHAT WE HOPE YOU’LL KNOW WITHOUT US SAYING IT
July 29, 2025
Grief hasn’t just changed the shape of our days — it’s changed how we relate to the people around us. The people who love us. The ones who want to help, but don’t always know how...
More Than A Mom group
July 19, 2025
It’s hard to put into words what you’ve been for me — and for our family.
After Violet died, there were moments I couldn’t move, couldn’t plan, couldn’t picture how to keep going — let alone how to make my surviving child’s 4th birthday feel like a celebration...
A universe in glass: Violet’s Cremation Pendant
July 18, 2025
Violet’s ashes are layered into the piece in a way that feels like stardust—visible, textured, and integral to the art itself. Lezlie explained that to create it, she had to stretch and layer tiny bits of glass while keeping the temperature perfectly even throughout the process. It’s an incredibly delicate technique that requires years of mastery…
violet
July 17, 2025
Violet was only 15 months old when she died, but she was fully herself. Her presence filled every room she entered, and her soul—somehow—already felt deep, luminous and wise.She had just learned to walk the week before she died, and she was so proud of it. Sometimes she would fully extend her arms, as if to say yes, I did it—I walked on this Earth…
Why We’re Supporting the SUDC Foundation
July 15, 2025
SUDC refers to the sudden and unexpected death of a child over 12 months old that remains unexplained even after a thorough investigation, including an autopsy, medical history review, and scene examination. It is extremely rare, deeply misunderstood, and devastatingly real...
Beginnings are hard
July 14, 2025
Our daughter, Violet, died suddenly and unexpectedly on February 21, 2025. She was 15 months old, radiant with life, and everything changed the moment we lost her.This space is where I write about what it's like to live in the aftermath—with my partner, with our 4-year-old son…
Resources
When Violet died, we were left completely isolated and overwhelmed with the silence of uncertainty.Nobody had a name or any way of explaining what had just happened to us.Unfortunately, the resources necessary to survive a life altering event of this magnitude, are not easily available.There is no roadmap to guide anybody through the new world that is created after the sudden and unexpected death of your child.If we wanted to simply survive this time when we were engulfed in the uncontrollable, we were forced to find resources on our own.We want to share some of the people, places, and things that have helped us make it as far as we have come today. We most certainly didn’t do it alone.If you’re here looking guidance to help navigate through the grief of the death of your child, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand — we hope these sources for support may help you not only find your footing, but give insight into our own journey as well.
SUDC foundation
This foundation supports families affected by Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood and privately funds crucial research.Without any sort of explanation for what happened to Violet, they were the ones who gave us a name when no one else could.We are so grateful for their care, and for helping us feel less alone.
Meal train
The Meal Train website simplifies the organization of meal giving around significant life events. It is rooted in the idea that a meal is a symbolic gesture of one person’s willingness to help another.The meals weren’t just nourishment—they were time, presence, and relief. In a season when everyday tasks felt too heavy, they let us be with our son Charlie, and gave us room to breathe.
Mygrief.ca
An online resource that helps people understand grief and how to support someone who’s grieving. Especially helpful for grandparents, extended family, and friends. An abundant resource for understanding the grief process and providing immediate guidance.
J.a.g. Village
Jorja’s Awesome Grief Village is a space for healing through learning to honour grief and our loved ones, tolerate the intolerable, and for collective healing.Grief touches every part of our lives and is not a problem to be fixed, but love that needs to be carried, nurtured, and made sacred.As a bereaved parent herself, Jodi has helped us live this truth through her own example, and given us the opportunity to continue with our relationships throughout the space of death and loss.
By lezlie
Lezlie is a master artist who creates custom glass cremation jewelry with ashes delicately laced into the design.
She welcomed us into her home and created something deeply personal to commemorate Violet’s time here with us.
I carry this piece with me everywhere I go, and it helps remind me how close we always are even when the distance feels insurmountable.
Books
Talking openly about life and death with our four-year-old hasn’t been easy. We’ve learned, quickly and sometimes painfully, that the words we choose shape how he makes sense of the world.In the fog of early grief, a dear friend stepped in after I asked for help sourcing books that might guide our conversations. She delivered wholeheartedly—many arrived gift-wrapped, each with a handwritten note explaining why it was chosen.Not all of those are listed here, but the ones below have helped us begin these tender conversations to make sense of life, love, and loss.
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
This book has been our families favourite, reminding us that love connects us forever, even when someone is far away.
The Moon is Always Round
By Jonathon Gibson
This book uses the phases of the moon to show that things can still be whole, even when they seem incomplete. The Moon Is Always Round is a comforting way to talk about loss, presence, and love that doesn’t go away.
My Sibling Still
by Megan Lacourrege
With beautiful illustrations, this book depicts the loving presence of the deceased child in the family's life, and relationships continuing after death.
Untying my wings
By Olivia c. means
This book isn't about grief, but about self discovery and courage - the quiet kind that it takes to keep going when things feel uncertain.
A soft, beautiful story we’ll return to again and again as its meaning deepens.
Lifetimes
by Bryan Mellonie & Robert Ingpen
Lifetimes explains the natural cycle of life and death in a thoughtful, matter-of-fact way. It has its place—but Charlie struggled with the picture of the broken butterfly, and I understand why.
What Happens When a Loved One Dies? Our First Talk About Death
by Dr. Jillian Roberts
This book has become one of our favourites. I love a book that’s straight to the point without being super sad.
The Goodbye Book
by Todd Parr
The Goodbye Book uses simple words and bright illustrations totally about loss in a way that children can understand. We weren't ready for it at the time—because we weren’t saying goodbye to Violet. She’s still with us in so many ways. But we’re keeping this one close for when the time is right.
Remember
This is a space dedicated to memories and mementos, keeping her in our presence for all time.We’ve been surrounded by such generous love — in countless forms. I want to remember each act, each offering, each kind word.This is just a small reflection of the love she brought to our world.
Macrame Rainbow, kindness from a stranger.
I saw Michelle’s work on Facebook, and sent her a message saying how much the rainbow reminded me of my daughter who had just died.
She offered to make one for us in the colours of our choice.
I never even met her once.
When I went to pick it up, she insisted I accept it as a gift. It was the first thing we received after Violet died, and it will always be such an extra special sentiment of love.
Wooden mother and child, gifted with love from Victoria—a mom friend who’s quietly sat beside me through so many moments when I needed someone to just be present with me.
This angel light showed up at our house from my Aunt Darlene early on after Violet's death. It helped shed some light, when we were still completely in the dark.
Amongst a thoughtful basket, these keychains made with love by torri Lillian.
This hanging glass butterfly arrived from another mom friend, Monica, and her daughter, Hope. It brightens up a corner in our living room where we can pass by it all day, everyday.
A perennial pot with Dahlia, lavender, and strawberries that we can watch come back and grow year after year. From Addie.
Alicia bought this butterfly pin as a simple gesture of mindfulness from one mother to another, and the same colours as Violet’s butterfly urn without knowing.
Foam flower, Carefully crafted with love by Scarlett, Oliver's niece.
Three year old, Evie made this sculpture.
She hadn't met Violet, but instinctively painted it purple with a flower.
Beluga whale handy man, drawn by my talented Mom friend, Sarah.
We sang Baby Beluga at Violet's funeral, and Charlie loves a show called handyman Hal.
She just put them together in the most memorable way.
Hand-painted keepsake boxes for Charlie and Violet made by Lorraine Hancott.
So beautifully detailed, and will be treasured.
A special card from my mom, artist unknown.
CHARLIE’S BIRTHDAY PARTY
When my heart was too heavy, my mom group of friends put together a birthday party for Charlie who turned four a few months after Violet died. They took care of all the food, were there to help set up everything, and even arranged for fire trucks to stay all afternoon.
The support we need
As our journey through the grief and healing continues, the kind of support we need shifts alongside of it.From where we’re standing now, it’s more obvious than ever that we wouldn't be here without your help and generosity.We will always feel a void without Violet here, but your meals made with love, gentle presence, and silent support, have helped shine light on those dark spaces.Therapy has become a vital part of how we’re surviving this time in our lives.It’s helping us process trauma, provide for Charlie through his own trauma and grief, as well as stay connected to ourselves and each other.Each session is around $150, and consistently showing up in this way will be an ongoing process.It’s not easy to ask for help — but continuing support for therapy and other healing needs makes a real difference and impact for our family.If you’d like to help us access this care, whether through contributions to therapy, acts of remembrance, or just by staying connected — thank you.Your love means more than we can say.
E-transfer
For those in Canada, e-transfer is an available option to send funds directly to Becky’s bank account:
[email protected]
Paypal
For those who’s efforts are limited by location, PayPal is a free and easy way to send funds directly from and to bank accounts all over the world.
Add Becky to your PayPal contacts list using
[email protected].
Remember to select “Friends & Family” to bypass transaction fees.
Reach out
We may not always the capacity to respond, but we would still love to hear from you.Memories, thoughts, and messages mean more than we can say.We’ll read them all with full hearts and hold what’s shared with care.
Message sent
Thank you for reaching out.
Be well.